Aug 12 2009
What the 4-Year-Old Saw
Our neighborhood is home to a group of ten children in four families. The kids seem to think they have an open door policy at each house, so it is not unusual for me to duck into the basement to pound out some laundry and then come back upstairs to find my house overrun with various neighborhood tots.
Once in awhile, I even find a stray.
“Who are you?”
“I am (fill in blank). I came over to play with (insert child’s name).”
Of course, this works in reverse also. I know that all three of my children are in the house, move to another room and return to discover they all went over the wall. The house goes from a bustling romper room of activity to total silence.
Which brings me to the other day.
All three of my children were next door playing with the neighbor’s children. I was in the kitchen, prepping supper when a text message from my other neighbor beeped.
“Ask Kristopher what he saw at our house.” (Kris being my youngest
at 4-years-old.)
I responded with, “What are you talking about?” As far as I knew, Kris was over at neighbor #1’s house.
He came back with, “Trust me. Ask him. It will be worth it.”
When Kris returned, I asked, “What did you see at Mr. Brian’s house?” (Brian being neighbor #2 that had sent me the text.)
Kris looked at me like I was speaking Russian, so I posed the question again.
He threw up his arms, shrugged and said, “What, Daddy?”
Time for a different tactic.
Brian’s family consists of his wife, Sherri and two daughters, Elena and Anna. Elena is Kris’s age and they are in the same preschool class. Another friend in the neighborhood for Kris to play with, an easy three doors down.
“Kris, what did you see at Elena’s house?”
His eyes got as big as baseballs and his expression was pure uh-oh amazement.
“I saw Miss Sherri naked!”
He paused and finished it off with, “I really did!”
His eyes were still as big as baseballs and he added a vigorous head nod for emphasis.
I gave myself ample time to go back into the kitchen before I started laughing and waited until I had all the facts before I started the lecture. ( I still get the giggles when I call up the memory of the look on his face when he realized what I was questioning him about.)
Turns out, Kris had seen Miss Sherri pull into her driveway and thinking his pal Elena was home, had taken off for their door.
To his credit, he rang the doorbell and knocked, but when no one answered, he let himself in for what turned out to be a literal look. That is when the fun began.
Miss Sherri had just returned from work and was in the process of changing clothes before going to fetch her girls from daycare when my Peeping Tom son happened upon her.
She came around a corner, there he was and, I am just guessing here, it was a contest as to which one was the more startled.
She covered up quickly, told Kris he had to return home, phoned Brian and he, appreciating a laugh-out-loud moment, immediately sent me the aforementioned text.
To Sherri’s credit, she was an exceedingly good sport about the entire situation and later that night when she replayed her version of events, she stated that while it was a bit horrifying to find a 4-year-old catching her in the buff, it was also humorous.
I downplayed the nude angle with Kris in the lecture. Didn’t even mention it. I spent my energy reinforcing the procedure that when he rings doorbells or knocks and no one answers, he is to return home.
Thinking I had that beat that into his little 4-year-old head, I asked what he will do in the future.
“Ring the doorbell and knock.”
“And if no one answers…..?”
“Go away.”
“Why?”
“Cause I am going to see someone naked.”
Bet the entire neighborhood will be locking doors after this episode.
